Gender Roles?

Michael and I made a deal this week. Michael will handle our finances, and I will handle our food. Put another way, Michael is responsible for paying bills and allocating money for savings, debt and home improvements. I am responsible for meal planning and grocery shopping. Put yet another way, Michael will make sure we are financially secure, and I will make sure we don't get fat.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I hate gender roles and I often fight them just for the hell of it. Here I am falling nicely into a wifey role of meal planning and cooking. Strangely, I am ok with it. After my recent shingle ordeal, I have to eliminate stress. Money worries me. It stresses me out. I am going to let Michael deal with it. While I do not like going to the grocery store, I do like to cook healthy food and I like being thin. Eating out is cheaper than dining out, so I am also helping Michael with his responsibilities. Michael is going to keep us out of the poor house, and I am going to keep us healthy. Sounds fair, right?

Whew! We Are Home!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE FRENETIC WORKING MOTHER AND HER HAPPY LITTLE CHICKADEES!

Jackson James

Jackson wants to be LeBron James.

He needs to grow a few feet and get inked with a couple of tattoos, but he is well on his way to basketball greatness. Check out this link to Michael's blog post on Jackson's 2nd game. There is a link in the post to that will take you to a video of JBO showing off his talent. You don't have to sign into the Verizon site to see the video, just click "Play Message". First the big kid on the green team sinks a shot, then you see my mini-munchkin in the white uniform walk across the court to receive the ball. He takes it coast to coast and sinks it for 2! He has mad skills!

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

Pop quiz: What hurts worse than a shingle?

Answer: Plucking eyebrow hair out of a shingle.

I know that's gross, but I have hairy Rowell eyebrows that get waxed every 2 weeks. Its been almost a month. I had a hair and eyebrow appointment today that my shingles made me cancel. That's right. My shingles made me do it.

Michael and I have an appointment downtown today regarding the refinance on our house, so I took a shower this morning and tried to get presentable. I still can't fix my hair. My scalp is in bad shape. BUT...I plucked my eyebrows! And the shingles around my eyes are clearing up! I blogged this hope yesterday, and I think it might actually be true. I think my face shingles are fading! My eye is red and the skin around it is irritated, but my eyebrows look so much better, and although it may seem silly, I feel so much better. I might actually look ok for those Christmas morning pictures with my boys!

I still feel like I have the flu, but I really think my body is working overtime to wipe out the yuckiness. I really need sleep, but I just don't think I am going to get any until I finish all the meds. I am doing my best to rest, eat healthy, let go of stress, and enjoy my boys' Christmas joy. I will blog about this later, but Michael's dad is proficient in Reiki, and he "worked on me" Sunday. I have been so hot and flushed since the session...maybe Andy boosted my immune system.

All I can say right now is I still have shingles, but my eyebrows are plucked, my yellow Life is Good cap is securely on my head, and I am going to be ok.

Shingles Update

Another day, still got shingles.

I am working from home this week. I alternate between feeling like I could take over the world (steroids) to feeling like I have the flu. The flu symptoms are taking over, though. I hope this means that my body is using all of its energy to attack this virus.

I jogged again with Jackson yesterday. We ran 1 mile. I am very proud of him. He is such an athlete. Today I don't think I could jog 1 mile if someone was chasing me. It is going to take me weeks to get my mileage back up after my shingles are gone.

My self-esteem is in the gutter right now. I look awful. I need a haircut. I need an eyebrow wax. The good news is I think I don't think the shingles on my face are going to scab over and ooze. Unfortunately, the shingles on my scalp are well on their way to horror-movie status.

Still thinking about my approach to stress. I am researching yoga classes in Columbia. Any suggestions from Midlands-dwellers out there?

I have used the past week to do some winter cleaning, and Michael has been awesome about taking care of laundry, the boys, meals, errands, etc. I will probably come out of this experience with a much cleaner house.

As a last note for the day, I realize now that I do not reach out to my friends like I should. I am sort of a working shut-in. I know that probably doesn't make sense, but I become a hermit when I leave my office. I do a horrible job maintaining friendships, and its time like these that I probably need my girlfriends the most.

Whew...Running Doesn't Give Me Shingles!

Last night was really rough. Several new blisters appeared in the corner of my right eye and I was extremely uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the Tylenol PM I took to help me sleep was extremely ineffective and I maybe got 3 hours of sleep.

I haven't pounded pavement since my 5-miler Sunday morning. That's a long time without a run. Jackson and Alex asked me to run with them this morning, so Michael and I clocked a 1/2 mile loop in our neighborhood and we took the boys out for a jog. Michael ran with Alex, and Jackson ran with me. I have definitely found my future running partner, but more on that later. After our family 1/2 miler, I ran 3 more laps to complete a 2-mile run. No laughing Kalani :) !It felt wonderful. For 20minutes or so I felt no pain. Just the joy of putting one foot in front of the other. I gotta tell you I am relieved.

Overdid It

Hopped up on steroids this afternoon, I decided to tackle a few of the things that have been stressing me out: my craft room and my pantry.

So, I have a clean and purged pantry with shelves to spare and a craft room that is ready for action.

I also feel like crap, have a few more shingles on my face and neck, and I should probably wait a few days before I tackle any more stressful things.

Dealing With It

So I am not having a lot of fun right now. My scalp and face alternate between stabbing pain and uncontrollable itching. I have some stabbing pains in the skin on my neck and my right shoulder and chest, so maybe the shingles are spreading. I don't really care at this point. As a person who daily commits the sin of vanity, having shingles on my face is such cruel punishment. Everything else is gravy.

I don't want shingles ever again. So, lets examine the root cause. Stress. My life consists of my work and my family. Perhaps my lack of life beyond the two is part of the problem. I run and I read. The rest of me belongs to my company and my family.

Work both stresses me out and invigorates me. I have been sick all week, and although I am confined to my home, I worked every day. I returned emails last night on my Blackberry in the dark. I don't know what to do about this one. I want to be successful, I want to do a good job. I worry about financial security. My job is crucial for my family's economic health. Gender equality is a big deal for me, and I want my boys to understand that moms, girls, women, whatever can be just as strong, smart and successful as our male counterparts.

To be totally honest and totally selfish, I went to college for 7 years and I did not bust my ass to be second-rate at anything.

My men don't really stress me out unless the younger two are fighting. Whining, crying, and TATTLING drive me nuts. Otherwise, my boys are a blast. They make me laugh, they make me think, and they make me want to be a better person.

My home certainly stresses me out. I want to be the fulltime working mom with a perfect home. Seriously. I don't know how to deal with this one either.

BUT...I don't want shingles ever again, so I gotta figure out how to deal with stress. This is going to be a big challenge for me.

Shingles--Not the Kind on the Roof

Oh my. The most bizarre sinus infection I have ever had the misery of hosting is not a sinus infection at all...I have the shingles. And they suck.

Last night after dinner I noticed a red patch above my eyebrow and another at my hairline. Michael joked with me that my Vicks skin treatment gave me zits. I joked that maybe it was a festering sore and I was coming down with leprosy. With my head and face throbbing, Michael went for a run and I went to bed to read. I have no idea why I thought of this, but I realized that it was my skin that was so painful, not necessarily anything INSIDE my face or head. The rusty wheels of my brain started turning, and it occurred to me that I was having nerve pain, not sinus pain. Last year Michael's mom had the shingles, and they looked just like the sores on my face. I googled shingles, and BAM! I am a genius. A festering-sore-faced genius.

Apparently once the blisters appear, the virus really accelerates. I took a sleep aid last night, but it didn't work. I was in intense pain all night, and I woke up to several more blisters around my right eye and scalp. I am on a steroid, an anti-viral medication, and I am just giddy with anticipation of my sores busting open and oozing pus. My face is going to ooze. Actually, to be totally honest, I just want to cry.

Sick

Ok, Day 5 of The Yuckiness that has taken over my sinus passages. This is the most bizarre sinus infection I have ever had the misery of hosting. No drainage. No stuffiness. Just intense, throbbing pain around my right eye, forehead and right side of my head. It hurts to brush my hair or put on makeup. Needless to say I have been looking like a hobo the past few days. 4 doses of antibiotics and countless Advil and Tylenol have not brought me any relief. I am dropping the Tough Mom Routine and I am resorting to bitching and moaning. I don't get sick very often, and I am a horrible patient.

Suggestions are welcome. I finally got an appointment with the nurse practitioner at my doctor's office tomorrow. I have already missed almost 2 days in the office (not work...I work all the time...sick or not...home or in the office), a Christmas party, a date with a girlfriend and 3 days of running. I have tried drugs, Vicks on the face, hot compresses, facial massages, and I am willing to try any other wacky home remedy you can send my way.

The Joy of a Homemade Gift

If I ever have time to make a crafty gift again, I will remember what Jackson said after he got dressed a few days ago in a shirt my friend Gwen made for him last Christmas:

"Mom, when I wear this shirt, I feel very happy."

Medical Spending Account

I am sick. Yucky sick. Sinus infection, blockage, whatever. It hurts. This morning Alex and I stopped at Publix to get some Tylenol, and I decided to go ahead and make some purchases to use up my medical spending account for 2008. I have almost $400.00 to spend or lose. Check this out. $194.34 worth of treatment products. We still have a lot more to spend.

A Bit of Nostalgia

I spent 18 years trying to get out of Andrews...and I miss it every single day.

I miss my dad's nursery.
I miss living in the woods, down a long dirt road, with acres and acres of woods to explore with my siblings.
I miss living 5 minutes from my grandparents.
I miss my grandparents.
I miss my grandparents' pool.
I miss Black River.
I miss the Chicken Patty Special at the Seafood Shack.
I miss people who knew me when I was awkward and ugly and had really wonky teeth.
I miss Trinity United Methodist Church, which I attended from birth to age 19.
I miss UMYF.
I miss the Piggly Wiggly.
I miss Andrews High School.
I miss Snoopy, my very first bassett hound.
I miss getting caught by the train when I was close to curfew.
I miss bowling nights with Jessica, Aaron, Satan and Luke.
I miss my job at Wildes Furniture and my first supervisor Stacy Smith.
I miss the Andrews Public Library.
I miss shopping at Moore's and Dunn's and eating with my grandparents at Osbourne's.
I miss living with Jason, Matthew, Madeline and Andrew.
I miss my upstairs bedroom with large dormer windows and piles of books.

Most of all, I miss Christmas Eve services at my church, Christmas mornings with all my siblings, I miss my Aunt Cookie calling to make sure we were all up (duh!), I miss breakfast at Mimi and Wowo's house followed by a chaotic present-opening experience. I miss going home after lunch, cleaning up my room and setting out all my presents so my grandparents could come see how good Santa was to me. I think most of all, I just miss being a kid.

Momzilla

I feel kind of bad about my post yesterday. That was how I felt, but maybe I should not put it on the worldwide web. Anyway, things got better. The boys went outside and played football and basketball for over an hour. I kept tabs on them while I sat at the dining room table with hot tea and a book. Michael got home around 6pm and we walked to The Original Pancake House for dinner, and stopped at Books-A-Million on the walk home. They were angels. Go figure.

Not in the Mood to Sugar-Coat Things

I am sick today. I started feeling yucky late last night and I have a sinus headache that feels like a knife is stabbing into my right eye. No big deal...I am a big girl and I can handle a little cold.

My children. I am very mad at them. After Jackson's basketball game, we took the boys to Chuck E. Cheese because they asked to go somewhere fun. After 75 tokens EACH, Jackson cried because he did not have enough fun. I exit before I can lose my temper, and Michael smooths things over (as usual). Michael heads off to Lexington to play cards for the rest of the afternoon, and I take the boys home. I tell my boys, who are 5 and 6, that I feel yuck and really need to take a nap. I let them pick a movie to watch on beanbags in their bedroom, and promise them more fun if they will please just rest and be quiet for a little while so Mom's headache will go away.

I am still sick and so mad at the boys right now. They tortured me for over an hour. Their room is directly across the hall from mine. They hollered and fought and stomped and slammed doors for almost 2 hours. I asked them 7 TIMES to PLEASE BE QUIET SO MOM CAN GET SOME REST AND FEEL BETTER. My boys are 5 and 6, they understand the English language, and they understand rules, consequences and punishment. Unfortunately, they have zero respect for me. I don't know if this is a result of all my travel or if they are just being brats today--but I am in a crappy mood now.

Sweet Tarts

Working moms out there: Do you have a sense of humor about your working-momminess? You'd better. This could happen to you:

Sweet Tarts
as told by Jackson Owings

Both of them cook. Daddy cooks a lot. Mommy doesn't cause she says she's always sick 8-14 days. She "frowed" up. The goodest is sweet tarts. My dad stirs them in a red pot. She put in rainbow sugar (like the kind on cupcakes). Then they go in the refrigerator--it's a little bit cold on the shelf. when it's time to eat frosting is good.

This recipe was published in the Kathwood Mother's Day Recipe Book in 2007 when Jackson was in the 4's class. Quite humiliating, but very funny. I am surprised DSS didn't make a home visit.

No Place Like Home

It is so good to be home! After a long week of travel, I arrived home last night around 6:30pm. 17 hours of driving in 5 days. Two major cities, two hotels, lawyers, plaintiffs, witnesses, mediators, ugh. The highlights of my trip included two good morning runs, 3 pay-per-view movies, lots of knitting, reading, The Dish Barn, snow, and lots of good conversation. The only bummer of being home was a middle of the night phone call and an hour of work. Otherwise, its has been a good 24 hours.

I am so excited that my trip to El Paso next week has been postponed! After several weeks on the road, I am really looking forward to a week at home.

Make Gentle the Life of this World

My heart is very heavy tonight.

I stopped at a rest area approximately 2.5 hours from Nashville this afternoon. It was cold and starting to snow. I saw a note taped to the mirror in the ladies' room: "The lady in the gray Mazda needs help. Had to use gas and grocery money for repairs to car. Please help! God Bless!"

Do you ever see people standing at intersections with signs asking for work or food and turn away? Yeah, me too.

On the way to the vending machines, I spotted the gray Mazda. Sure enough, there was a woman in the car talking on her cell phone. I knocked on her window and saw that she was going through an address book to find help. I never have cash, but today I had $10 in travel money and I gave it to her.

Today I did not turn away, but I didn't really help. It was cold and snowing, and I left that lady in the rest area parking lot with my crummy $10. To be brutally honest, I was afraid to do anything further because she was a stranger. The rest area was staffed, so in my mind she wasn't alone. Giving money was easy. This lady, and my cowardice, was on my mind for the remainder of my trip.

And then my mom called.

My brother Matthew is a 2004 graduate of The Citadel. He got news this evening that his college classmate, Junior-year roommate and friend Capt. Warren A. Frank was killed in action in Iraq last Tuesday. According to The Citadel website, he was killed delivering humanitarian aid. He left behind a wife and two young daughters.

Tonight I am thinking about Captain Frank and the lady in the Mazda and I hope next time I will have the courage to do more.


"It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." Robert Kennedy